hello again. got my results for year 1 today. and i feel so liberated. actually i just feel content, i choose to make myself believe that i'm liberated HAHA. i improved a lot this sem, and it pulled my GPA for y1 up. i just hope i'm able to keep this up. i left a month until school starts again, funny how time flies when you got nothing to do.

speaking of which, i'm never fond of holidays. ever since after Os actually. that 6 months of not doing anything was... it got to me i guess? because when vacay came by for the first sem, i caught myself staring at the ceiling for far too long. and i rarely leave the house, waking up at 10 to just stay in bed till 1, eat my brunch, being indecisive of what to do, dinner, being indecisive again, sleep at 1am. rinse and repeat. i thought i abandoned that in september. guess i didn't since i'm doing that again now. for the past week. i forgot how to genuinely relax. maybe i can't yknow? my anxiety is always lingering in the back of my mind. i'm not sure who i really am anymore to be honest.

i realized something else the other day. last year was our final year celebrating Eid in our home. i would have never thought that it'd be this fast. last Eid i would have never think that it'd be the last Eid i would experience in the house i grew up in. i feel so conflicted about our move really. a part of me is really happy that we're moving for some reason. i get to have a fresh slate to my room, i can deco it like how i always wanted to. but the other half of me is totally against it. full on not accepting it. i'm not fond of the neighbours here, but those that i do are what makes this neighbourhood something yknow? in a month, i won't be walking home from school, i won't see Pems the neighbourhood cat, i won't be able to just visit my best friend who lives right across my block. i'm stripped of a lot of things. i'm leaving so much memories behind it's unbelievable.