well.

it's been a nice 2015. yeah i know this is delayed but i haven't got the chance to compose my thoughts. plus the first day of 2016 was filled with me being a droopy and negative lil shit for some reason. i can't put it into words but i guess you could decipher from that very brief description.

i'll start off by stating how terrified i am for results. i have 2 weeks left till results and really i'm just scared af. i have no idea why i mean i know i have every right to be scared as of now but im just, anxious.. like i feel like i wont meet my expectations but at the same time i'm sort of having positive vibes from it??? right im rambling but it's so hard to convey what im thinking and feeling lately so i'm very sorry. i know this might sound cliche and shit but i really am overcomed with so much emotions lately i don't even know where to begin. i have co-current thoughts as the days goes by and i'm just cooped up at home, in my room wasting my countless hours in my life away. never thought i'd be in this position (again) but it wasn't surprising that's the least to say.

but i do get benefits from it i guess? being on social media while lazing on my bed, i've discovered new bands and i'm just really psyched about it hahah. in all honesty, the holidays weren't as bad as i portray it i guess?? eh whatever.

my 10 days in europe was extravagant and i wish i could re-live it over and over again. well not really, i would minus out the negative parts of the trip (even if it means excluding people who were on the trip out of my repetition re-enlivement). either way, 12 year old me would have never thought i would even step out the boundaries of asia to actually be in london and paris. seriously though, the trip was amazing and i seriously wished we stayed longer but we aint that rich eh? and let's be real, i DID wish i'd met a cute european muslim guy, fall in love and then we could ride off into the sunset and get married HAHAHAHA. sorry for having a pointless imagination but a girl can always dream.

one thing i was bummed about the trip was that we didn't visit the catacombs when in france. i would've gone either way and my cousins were cool with it, but obviously it was all shopping and that bullshit. seriously though, i didn't come to europe to shop, i came for the view and the rich history. i was also bummed we didn't went to the versailles palace because holy shit i would've lost my mind right there and there. didn't went in the louvre as well, there goes my chances of seeing beautiful art and mona lisa hahaha but yeah.

either way, the end of 2015 was bitter-sweet but netherless, i'm just glad i actually made it this far. who would've thought huh?